"Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber and want like an armed man." Proverbs 6:6-11

Today I am making the choice to "go to the ant". Last night I was thinking that I don't know where to begin to become a disciplined person. I have tried this before and it does not work for me. Maybe it is my personality, maybe my dad didn't teach me well in this area (or more accurately, he did, but I was stubborn and didn't allow myself to learn it), maybe I've become a creature of habit, maybe I give in to too many momentary desires (like eating potato chips at 10 pm) maybe I am afraid to try too hard, because I actually am a perfectionist and I do not want to waste time energy just to FAIL. Maybe I have wounds from the past (like, I already did my share of housework, dang it!!) that subconsciously hold me back from moving forward in to a life of discipline. There are a pluthera of reasons why I have not gotten to a place yet where I can say that I AM A DISCIPLINED PERSON.

But then I realized that there are some areas of my life that I am disciplined. I forgot! All this time I have been thinking that I am not disciplined! I get up every morning when the alarm goes off--(for the most part), make coffee (we could debate whether this is discipline or addiction:)), take a shower, pray in the shower, get dressed for the day, (notice I don't always eat a healthy breakfast or read my Bible --2 things that I would like to do everyday),get out the door basically on time, drop the kiddos off and get to work on time (or close enough).

I am also disciplined in my work ethic. When I am at work, I work. I work hard, I do my best, I take constructive criticism, I build decent working relationships with co-workers, etc.

I am disciplined at following through when I say I will do something (like , I said on facebook that I am going to start this blog and that I will post a link soon).

I am disciplined at (this one is very random!) not eaves-dropping. I decided a while back that eaves-dropping gets me into more trouble than it is worth and that I am not going to do it, as much as I can control it. I think I have gotten close to mastering it, and it is because I practiced and DISCIPLINED myself to not do it.

I am disciplined at staying with and loving my husband and working at making it the best relationship it can be. I am not being boastful here. You do not know how many times I wanted to leave (not because he is such a horrible guy--but because leaving seemed like it would be easier than working it out).

I am disciplined at working on myself. I try to see (everyone has blind spots--including me) as much as I can, how my beliefs and actions are negatively affecting myself and others and I try to get to the root of it and change it.

I am disciplined at not judging or condemning people. I use to be a very judgemental person. I still have a tendency to lean in this direction, but I have made strong efforts to look at people and treat people like PEOPLE--like someone who is a mom or a sister or someone's kid or someone's long lost friend...vs. labeling them (drug addict, homeless, blind, closet alcoholic, divorced, gay, etc.)

Again, not tooting my own horn, but allowing myself to NOTICE and ACKNOWLEDGE where I am disciplined. There are more areas (thank God!) but these are enough of a foundation to go on. At least I don't have to start completely from scratch, right!?

I have never believed that it is okay to "pat myself on the back". If I get to work on time, or wash the dishes right after dinner or put the laundry away right when the dryer beeps--I did what "should" be done, so why should I praise myself--right? No, I am realizing that if I want to be a lover and encourager of others, I need to love and encourage MYSELF. Not self-worship or self-absorbtion, but SELF CARE.

Today my first step toward going to the ant is, to make a plan of structure for our daily life--a plan that is doable and that includes each of the four of us (two older kids, my husband and myself) doing our part to contribute to having a home that is ordered, clean and beautiful.

I have one more thing that I am going to commit to: blogging my thoughts and/or feelings on "go (ing) to the ant" or becoming a disciplined person, every day for 30 days. I am scared already! But I can pat myself on the back for today--because day 1 is now accomplished!!!! I might even blog more than once a day--you never know!:)